A man in his thirties told me that if you marry an immature person, do not expect that person to mature just because they marry you. They may never mature.
My hairdresser said a person needs to consider what age range they want their spouse to be in, and to stay within those limits.
A friend in her forties said never to marry a man that hates his mother.
That prompted me to think about not marrying a man that is a huge Mommy’s boy. I’ve seen that scenario. It’s very hard on the wife. It’s hard on the man, too, because his mom may try to get between the husband and wife and then he’s forced to pick sides. In Genesis, God said a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. She becomes one flesh with him, she is his priority. My husband loved his mother and respected her, but he never put her first. She loved him and did her best to encourage our relationship and never interfered in our lives. She loved our children, too, but she didn’t spoil them rotten. She offered advice when asked and maybe once, unasked, but when I needed it, in a gentle manner. I appreciated what she had to say.
So I tell people to get to know the parents of the one they’re interested in. People often become their parents. The person may not think they’ll become like their parent. I didn’t. Yet, I see various traits from my parents, some good, some not so good, arising in times of stress, in times of joy, in every day habits. I liked my in-laws and that’s helped my marriage.
I know a gal that changed radically from her parents way of life, so that may happen too, but I’ll bet some of their characteristics followed her. It’s just the way it is. I tried to avoid some of the things my parents did, and succeeded for the most part. My children heard the word, “Sorry”, often. My husband, too. Then I worked very hard to keep that behavior and attitude invisible to others and prayed diligently for God to change me.
Anything I missed, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂
