Have you ever spent a lot of time with your spouse and found yourself doing things you don’t normally do? My husband and I went to see my daughter and her family for a picnic for the Fourth of July.
When we were younger, we drove separate cars to our separate places. My husband worked a lot of hours while I took care of the children and household chores. Now, we’re often in the same car. I drive many times in case he wants to snooze. When he drives he has to tell me, with a twinkle in his eyes, “I want to get there.”
I pretend to be insulted. On the Fourth, he wanted to drive to and from our destination, so I acquiesced. Over the years, on occasion, I would tell my husband how to drive. How I determined that he didn’t like it: he’d say in a non-humorous tone, with no twinkle in his eye, “How did I manage to drive all these years without you?”
Then I, with a tart tone, would say, “I don’t know? How did you?”
He’d shake his head. Because we both had our say, we would drop it, and I would think maybe I’d better stop giving unwanted advice.
So, as he drove that day I asked him a question about his driving on the way there. He might have said, “I’m waiting for the car in the left lane to pass me before I go around this slow vehicle.”
Or was that in the last week of June? He said something to remind me he’s paying attention. Never mind, it doesn’t matter. I thought, note to self, don’t tell him how to drive.
So, less than three hours later, after our Fourth of July picnic, we’re driving home. Did I mention my sister is in the car? The right lane closes ahead of us but the sign warning us hasn’t shown up yet. He starts to veer into the left lane, and he doesn’t use his turn signal. I say, “What are you doing?!”
He says, “Connie, there are no cars on the highway. I’m pulling over into the left lane. Will you let me drive?”
Ouch! What happened to my resolution not to tell him how to drive? Rats! It’s good for me that he’s pretty easy going.
We’re heading towards our 49th anniversary. We communicate pretty well and try to respect each other. As we age together, we give each other help if one or the other is a bit infirm. Seems like we’ve been taking turns since the end of 2022.
One thing for sure, by the grace of God, we appreciate each other more than we ever have, and that’s saying something. Maybe when he drives, I can place a sticky note in an inconspicuous spot that only I can see. “Don’t tell hubby how to drive!”
We’re supposed to go to the same daughter’s house tonight for dinner and my eye is bothering me a bit. I think I’ll ask him to drive if he’s up to it. Then, I’ll close my eyes until we get there. That’s the plan, anyway.
Proverbs gives a lot of wisdom for all aspects of life. I think I’ll start reading one Proverb-a-day again. 😊
What do you do to help have healthy relationships?
By the way, We All Married Idiots by Elaine W. Miller is copyrighted by the author, 2012. The publisher is Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas, Raleigh, NC. I think I’ll pick it up to read again.
May God bless you and yours, because He is good!
